Today has been one of the better days I have had in a while. The fighting spirit is beginning to come back. I am still sleeping a lot but not as much as before and I managed to clean up parts of my room. (Considering that it looks less like Armageddon and more just like World War II, this is an accomplishment). I supposed this is partially because of increase in Prozac kicked in.
Another part of it is something that I am continually amazed at each time it happens, Somehow, when my back is against a wall something inside me just says "NOOOO!!" and begins to put up a fight. This is what I guess I call a finely honed survival instinct. It has served me so well before through so many traumatic stuff.................through hospitalization, through that week on the streets, through the date-rape and the gang-rapes and through so may other smaller mishaps, disappointments, delays and defeats. I think it is a miracle that it is still there and no, I don't think I am better than anyone else because of it. It surprises me just as much as anyone else when it kicks in.
I told my mother about my surprise and she with her ever-sensible self is like "Why are you surprised? That is the way it is supposed to be." I guess somehow I seem to get the art of surviving. It doesn't mean that I am outta the woods yet. I still have a way to go. I still have along way towards putting practices in my life other than medication that are going to help me to maintain my health but for now it is enough.
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1 comment:
Keep on keepin on! And don't forget how important prayer is too! :-) Thanks for sharing. Cool blog!
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